Part of my life

For anyone interested (and it's OK if you're not), my husband recently started a blog about his journey to find recovery from his addiction to pornography.  My own story (what its's like to be married to an addict) is also on that blog.  

Feel free to read it and share it with anyone you know who may benefit from knowing they're not at all alone in this fight.  


The URL is:  sharingmyrecovery.com

100% Juicy-Juice

This post will be about juice.  Wonderful, healthy, delicious, juice.  And what this wonderful juice has done for me.

Some may know, others may not, but the last 3 years have proven to be rather challenging for me.  Don't worry, I won't go in to all of that too much.  Suffice it to say it's been difficult.  Like molasses up-hill in January, difficult.  

But one of the many, MANY things I learned this year was the importance of taking care of my body.  I learned I am a steward of this body.  A loving Heavenly Father gave it to me, and I need to take care of it and respect it.  However, doing this has not always been easy for me. I have always struggled with exercising regularly (as in, I never did it).  And over the last few years I have developed quite a taste for uh....how you say....unhealthy food (a.k.a. Mexican food).  And as a result of these things (in connection with my uncooperative hormones post-pardum), I have been struggling to lose the 60+ pounds I gained during the last trimester of my pregnancy.  I never expected it would take this long to ditch those pounds that have gone waaaaay past pesky.  

I had heard from my brother about juicing and have tried it on and off, but last weekend I realized that if I was going to break my unhealthy eating habits I needed to "reset" my system.  I finally watched "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and got the motivation I had previously lacked.  I was going to do a 2-week-long juice fast.  Tonight ends day 5 and here's how it has gone so far:

Day 1:  HOW CAN A PERSON BE THIS HUNGRY AND NOT BE STARVING TO DEATH????!?!?!?!?!?!  I NEED SOMETHING TO CHEW!!!!!!!!
Day 2:  Holy.  Fuh-reak.  Tired, tired, NEED something to chew, tired.  Head feels like it's stuffed with cotton balls.
Day 3:  Okay.  Seriously.  Thank goodness for this gum.  Ahhh.  Chewing.  Also, tired.  Feel like I'm not quite awake yet.  Realized I was still craving enchiladas.  Said a prayer and asked that my desire for unhealthy food would diminish as I did this.  
Day 4:  Prayers answered.  More energy.  Hardly any headache at all.  When was the last time that was the case??!  Probably High School.  
Day 5:  LOTS more energy.   My mind feels clearer than it has in years.  I went to sleep so quickly last night and slept better than I have in years.  I don't think I've slept this deeply since the mission.  I also woke up more quickly than I think I EVER have.  My head barely hurts at all, I feel happier, and more optimistic than I have in a loooong time.  


I have been praying for a long time to be able to love who I am, and how I look.  I have been wanting to be healthier for a long time and the time was finally right for me to do this.  The Lord has been THE essential part of this process and I would have never made it past the first day without His support and blessing.  


Here are the ingredients to my 2 favorite juices so far:

Green Goodness (I have this one 2-3 times a day)
3 cups spinach leaves 
3 cups kale  
2 carrots
1 apple (I prefer Granny Smith)
1/2 of a lemon (including the peel)
1/2 of an average sized cucumber

Orange Berry Deliciousness (I like this for breakfast)
2 oranges
2 cups mixed berries  (I have blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries)

Funny times with my toddler

Sunday morning before church:
I showed Isla the dress she would wear for church.
"Oh, my GOSH.  It's so PRETTY!"  (She sorta yelled it at me)

Sunday evening after dinner:
Michael and I are talking and Isla is attempting to climb on to a chair, over the arm rest.  She gets half-way over and says, "I too stuck!  I too stuck!"  
Michael asks if she needs help.  
She pauses and then says, "DO SOMETHING!"

Later:
Michael was attempting to get Isla to say, "shucky ducky."
Isla:  "Shucky Sharky.  Nooooo.  Not Shucky Sharky.  There's a REASON."

All Growed Up

I feel like such a grown-up.  I just signed up for Rapid Rewards points for an airline.  It even required a call to a 1-800 number and everything.  

Also, 2 blog posts in  as many days.  This is a big deal.   

P.S. after 9 years away from math, turning that part of my brain back on to learn physics is not easy.  

AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

School

So, I just started a physics class.


AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream on

Found this quote the other day and it really resonated with me :

"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it.  The time will pass anyway."

I needed to see this right now.  I needed to be reminded that the things I want for myself are still valid and it won't matter if it takes 2 years of 20 years.  I can either spend that time working toward something that will be good for me and that I want to do/be, or I can spend that time wishing these goals would take less time :-)

I have started on one of my goals as of a few weeks ago:  to lose the rest of the baby weight.  Now that my hormones have righted themselves (it only took about 2 years) and I am feeling like myself again, it's time to kick my butt into gear.  Which is why a few weeks ago I joined a gym!  I have been going at least 3 times a week (for me that's a miracle) and I am really loving it.  It also doesn't hurt that one of my best friends is going with me :-)

Point is, I'm happy.  And it feels good.

Please respond

I'm typically decisive when it comes to my appearance, but I have a dilemma and I need other opinions.  Here's my question:

Should I get bangs again or continue growing them out???

These bangs would be of the side-swept variety, not blunt.

Wuv.

Love.  No matter how long it's been since you've experienced the thing you love, when you experience it again you realize you never stopped loving it. People, music, art, food.  It applies to everything.  Some of the very best people I have ever known I am not able to talk with very frequently but as soon as I do, the love is still there.  Food.  I don't eat certain foods but once a year and every year I love the food just as much (pumpkin chiffon pie, I'm looking at you).  

Music.  I love music.  I have for as long as I can remember.  Certain bands I have not listened to for years.  But the other day I went through iTunes on my old laptop and found a whole mess of music that I now cannot turn off.  The Thrills, Imogen Heap, Mute Math, Mae, etc.  Love.  True Love.  It brought me back together with some wonderful tunes.  Bless you, Love.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I have a gun

Now get in the van!

It's about time...

It's about time that I wrote a post about the last few weeks.  Pictures can come later.  For now I just need to get out there that we have successfully moved back to Provo after a wonderful 1.5 years house sitting in Salem, UT.  I can't believe it went by so quickly.  

Here's a break-down of how our moving week went.  Load trailer Mon-Wed.  Stay with Phil and Taylor Wed-Friday.  Unload trailer Friday evening.  Fly to Connecticut for Christmas on Saturday.  Basically insane.  Thank heaven for our INCREDIBLE friends and family.  We would have been lost without you.  

Once our new place is unpacked completely I'll take pictures.  Hopefully I'll have better luck decorating this apartment.  I guess it will help that I finally broke down and signed up for a Pintrest account.  I try not to get sucked in but it's strangely addictive.  Between that and Houzz I should have plenty of decorating ideas to choose from.  If only I could narrow down what my style actually is.....

Oh, Boo....

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!  

News:

-Scratch that last post about going back to school in January.  Not happening at that time but soon, I hope.  


-Isla is almost 2 and is learning/doing so much these days.  She sings a ton, can count to 4, recognizes a variety of animals, and is starting to recognize letters.  I can't believe how quickly kids learn.  She is also hilarious to watch.  My favorite moment from today was when she was shoving her stuffed monkey's face in to a cracker and ordering it to "Eat it.  EAT IT!!!!!"  

The following picture is a good representation of her personality.

She doesn't actually use a pacifier....she just likes to chew on them occasionally. 

That **** cray...

Guess who's going back to BYU in January??

2 Weeks in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

Ok, Ok, it wasn't quite as bad as all that.  But the 2 weeks in which I traveled to, stayed in, and then left Maryland, were not as pleasure-filled as I was hoping for.  Side-note:  I'm feeding off my current cranky-ish mood while writing this so if it sounds overly blech that's why.  

Really my trip to Maryland sets the tone for the entire trip so I'll mostly just tell that story.  My ride to the airport (for whom I am really very grateful) was late picking me up.  When I got to the airport I snapped my hand in to Isla's stroller buckle, which, by the way, is very painful if you've never done it before.  I wouldn't recommend trying it out to see if I'm right.  When I got to the counter to check my bags and get my boarding pass, I was informed I needed proof of Isla's age in order to have her ride on my lap.  I was unaware of that fact and was not traveling with her birth certificate.  Thankfully when I almost started crying the woman at the counter told me I could get it for the ride home and they wouldn't charge me for an additional round-trip ticket.  I got to my gate (I should note at this point that it was a miracle I got through the lengthy security line with Isla) and discovered our flight was delayed by 1.5 hours.  I was hoping Isla would nap on the plane.  No such luck.  We had a lot of turbulence so the fasten-seat-belt-sign was illuminated most of the flight.  For anyone with a rambunctious toddler that is NOT a good thing.  There was a snarky flight-attendant who made it her personal mission on that flight to ensure my daughter was safely on my lap at all times.   In response I spent most of the latter-half of the flight crying because Isla was crying/screaming.  I couldn't even go to the bathroom to change her poopy diaper.  I had to do it on the empty seat next to me.  Happy note: There was an empty seat next to me and when I got to Maryland at least I still had all of my hair.

Another fun part of the trip was Isla's sleeping habits.  Ordinarily she is a marvelous sleeper.  I have been very richly blessed in that regard.  She goes to bed at 7 pm and wakes up at around 8am.  VERY nice.  On this trip, when I was the only parent there, she decided to not sleep past around 6:45 am.  On the first few mornings she was up before 6 am.  In Maryland.  Which meant that in Utah it was like 4 am and needless to say it was a bit early for my taste.  

All of these things notwithstanding, there were some good parts of the trip.  The jet-skis, the boat, the pool, all fun.  Seeing family, also fun.  Karaoke for Taylor's birthday, also surprisingly enjoyable.  My Mom even coerced me into singing a song by myself.  Once in a life-time that.  

Things got a lot better by the end of the 2 weeks and the flight home was wonderful.  Next time I fly by myself with a toddler I'll remember to bring a bunch of touring-Asians with me who love blonde-curly-haired babies.  They did a fabulous job entertaining her.  

To leave you now on a happy note, here's a song that makes me exceedingly glad.

How true it is

My Mom mentioned this saying to me today after I e-mailed her the above picture:

"I wish I could see kids as just sleeping and not recharging their batteries."

I've often remarked to Michael that it would be wonderful if children were the lethargic ones and as you got older and could be more productive with your time you got more and more energy.  If only!

I gotta Chrysler that seats about 20, so COME ON!

And bring your jukebox money!

I have a 19-mo. old daughter who LOVES being outside.

She also has insanely curly hair, and loves to read.

Precious

Isla, Isla, and more Isla

My sister brought this "dress" back from Egypt.   It makes
fun noise when Isla dances in it.

Curly hair!

Caught up to no good!  I love this kid.

She LOVES mowing the lawn with her "Gaggy."

In other news. . .

I'll get the cute stuff out first: 

And now on to the other news:

In the fight to rid myself of some of my chronic ailments (headaches, joint and muscle pain, depression, anxiety, etc.) I took a cue from my aunt and have started a gluten-free diet.  My aunt discovered a year or 2 ago that she is gluten intolerant.  She had symptoms like restless-leg syndrome which I would have never associated with gluten.  Because I had such a wide range of symptoms I never thought to connect them all---I never thought they could all have a root cause.  But 5 weeks ago I decided I would give this a try after reviewing a list of symptoms.   Seeing as how I had most of the symptoms (minus the weight-loss unfortunately :-) ) I figured giving this a try would be a good idea.  Over the past 5 weeks my "gastrointestinal" symptoms have all cleared up, and I am really starting to feel better overall.  

Two weeks ago we went on vacation with some good friends.  We went to a restaurant and I thought my meal was going to be gluten free, but I didn't check closely enough.  I ate it, and almost instantly felt sick.  Pretty good confirmation that I am gluten-intolerant.  And I am so grateful.  It's difficult avoiding foods that I LOVE, like Italian food at restaurants, but thankfully there is a VERY wide variety of gluten-free cuisine and many of my favorite ethnicities of food are naturally gluten-free, like Indian and Thai food.  Even Mexican food, so long as I eat it with corn tortillas.  And because gluten-intolerance is finally being understood by doctors, there are a growing number of gluten-free alternatives available at grocery stores even in the small town of Salem.  

It feels good to have a better idea of what's wrong with my body.  

Before I forget, here is the list of some of the symptoms:

• Gastrointestinal symptoms: These are some of the “classic” — although not the most common — symptoms of celiac disease:
  • Abdominal pain and distension
  • Acid reflux
  • Bloating
  • Constipation
  • Diarrhea
  • Gas and flatulence
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Weight loss or weight gain
• Nongastrointestinal symptoms: Interestingly, although gluten sensitivity and celiac disease affect the gut, most people’s symptoms are not gastrointestinal in nature. This partial list includes just some of the more than 250 symptoms not centered in the digestive tract.
  • Fatigue and weakness (due to iron-deficiency anemia)
  • Vitamin and/or mineral deficiencies
  • Headaches (including migraines)
  • Joint/bone pain
  • Depression, irritability, listlessness, and mood disorders
  • “Fuzzy brain” or an inability to concentrate
  • Infertility
  • Abnormal menstrual cycles
  • Respiratory problems
  • Canker sores (apthus ulcers)
  • Lactose intolerance
  • Bruising easily
  • Low blood sugar (hypoglycemia)
  • Muscle cramping
    
    
    
    

Title

I find it so fascinating/amazing that after 26 years I am STILL learning things about myself.  A part of me thought that after being in college for a while, going on a mission, and being married for a few years that I would have myself pretty well figured out.  I was SO wrong.  

It's nice to not have to hide from myself anymore.

Well, OK

I couldn't resist.  Again, courtesy of Noah Coleman.

blog, blog, blog (read: blah, blah, blah)

I keep thinking blogging will become a more cathartic release for me, but it hasn't happened yet.  Perhaps I was never meant to be a blogger.  I have this internal battle every time I go to write a new blog post: 


"Self, what should I write about?"  
"Oh, I don't know, Self.  Perhaps your latest struggles with being a wife and mother?"   
"Well, I don't know, Self.  I think I've exhausted that topic and no one wants to read about all of my problems.  Everyone has their own problems and perhaps the world-wide-web is not the place to broadcast my issues with life."  
"But Self!  You could help someone with your vast amount of life knowledge and experience!  Think about all you've done!  It could help someone!...???"  
"I don't know, Self.  I don't think I've done enough to be useful to anyone.  So maybe I'll just post some pictures of my really cute baby.  That won't get old after picture #5 katrillion, all with the sub-title:  I love my baby!  Isn't she the cutest??!"




Seriously though, what is the point of blogging?  Why did I start this thing?  I have no good answer.  I have no skills that I can show-case on this blog.  My artwork isn't good enough for that yet.  My family life basically sucks, so I don't want to write about that, and my kid is the cutest baby in the world and I shouldn't want to rub that in everyone's faces all the time.   


I can offer this one ray of sunshine to the world for those who have not yet discovered it:  

surisburnbook.tumblr.com

***Disclaimer:  You would have to know who various celebrities are to care at all about this website.  If you do, and you enjoy dry humor and vicious sarcasm, this should cheer you up.

Boo Bear

Courtesy of Noah Coleman: