I had no idea

I never knew love could feel this way...I had heard it could happen when you see your child for the first time. But like so many things in life, I didn't really believe it until I had experienced it for myself. I loved her the moment I saw her. I have the most beautiful daughter in the world, and although I am more tired than I've ever been (including while serving a mission...which is saying something), I am also so so insanely happy. And it's not just because I can finally eat again without worrying about vomiting.

Michael and I could stare at her all day long and never get bored. In fact, that's what I find myself doing most days. She has quite the repertoire of amusing facial expressions and I love how small she is. All of her clothes are too big but I wouldn't mind if she stayed this size forever.

This was taken at the hospital

I am also more in love with my husband than ever. He is such a fabulous Dad. He has changed more diapers than I have by far (wonderful, right?!), and he'll wake up with her at night so I can sleep. I love watching him while he's with her---the way he smiles at her, or sings to her, or just holds her and watches her sleep. I knew he was incredible when we got married and I figured he would be a good father (which was one reason I married him) but I had no idea just how good of a father he would end up being. I am now even more thoroughly convinced that I have the best husband ever. The absolute best for me.

And here's why

I love my husband. Here's why:

Exhibit A: He looks hot in a uniform (he's second from the right)



Exhibit B: He has impressive skills with a rifle (he's second from the left)



Exhibit C: He's good at letting me know he loves me...like when he brought me these flowers this morning for no reason.




Bottom line: I am a very blessed lady.

Mission Impossible...?

I've decided that since my general opinion of being pregnant is that it's positively horrible, I would try and find at least 5 things about it that I love. Here is what I've been able to come up with so far (in no particular order of importance):

1. Strangers do random nice things for you in public (like wait for over a minute for me to get to the door so they can hold it open for me).
2. Michael (who has always been the epitome of helpful) has managed somehow to become even more wonderful. Now that I'm so huge he even helps me put my shoes on and take them off since it hurts to bend over.
3. Michael is willing to sleep in what he considers to be freezing temperatures so that I can be comfortable.
4. Michael talks to my belly. The other day he asked the baby if she would say hi to daddy, and not even a second later she kicked a few times so he could feel. It was pretty awesome.
5. Cravings. Before I was pregnant I thought they would get to be annoying....but I love them. For instance: a few weeks ago I really wanted meatloaf. Really really bad. SO I got to make it and eat it for dinner 2 times in one week. And Michael let me. Recently I have also found myself craving taco's and cocoa puffs. And who wouldn't love that?! P.S. I don't eat the taco's and cocoa puffs together. That would be nasty.
6. When I talk with my Mom it's fun to hear her talk about pregnancy and actually know what she's talking about. I feel like it's helped me get to know her so much better. It's also made me appreciate SO much more, all that my Mother has done for me over the years starting with when she was pregnant with me. She had my sister already who was 18 months old at the time and was just as sick as I have been. Getting up to chase after my sister made her throw up...moving in general made her throw up and yet she did it anyway. And now, 24 years later she's still just as self-sacrificing and wonderful. Man, I love my Mom.

I think I'll stop there for today...I've started crying...haha I am definitely still pregnant.

Mission to feel better about pregnancy: accomplished.

Ask and ye shall receive

For those who have been wanting to see, here is a picture of my belly....taken today. I am at 32 weeks now, so we'll see how much bigger it gets over the next 8-ish. In the past month it's grown 7 inches. I. Feel. Huge. My doctor asked how I was feeling on Monday during my appointment. I said, "I'm feeling pretty huge." He said, "Well, that's because you are!" I have a funny doctor.


Aside from getting used to knocking things over with my belly and running into walls I USED to be able to navigate safely, I'm feeling fabulous. I'd be lying, though, if I didn't say I was looking forward to no longer being pregnant. Not the pushing the baby out from between my legs part, but the less huge part. Oh, and actually having the baby here. That, too.

Time flies.

My oh my. It's been a while. Here's a quick recap of the past 2 months of my life:

1. A fabulous trip to Hawaii with my family---complete with puka dogs (why don't they exist on the mainland?!), surfing, cliff jumping, snorkeling, and my personal favorite: malasadas. Yum.
2. A trip to Branson, MO with Michael's family. More fun, food, and a ride on a boat.
3. Moving from Illinois to Utah so Michael can go to school out here. It included spending a night in a moving truck and waking up with swollen feet and ankles. Ah the joys of being pregnant.
4. Michael joined the AirForce ROTC and is having a blast on the Drill Team. Aside from my not liking him coming home every morning with new wounds on his hands from the rifle he spins, I'm enjoying myself out here quite a bit.
5. I am now 30 weeks pregnant and the baby seems to be doing quite well! My belly grew 5 inches in the past 2 weeks. How does that happen?! Haha oh well. I got a new doctor out here that I absolutely LOVE.
6. The other morning I had to evacuate my house at 3:30 am because a water main broke and our house was flooding. Lucky it was just the basement that got destroyed and we had nothing down there. It had 2 ft of standing water in it. Crazy! We're back home now, thankfully, but are missing our wonderful neighbors (the Colemans) who had to move out so their apartment could be fixed after the flooding.

And here we are now. Maybe some day in the near future I'll get around to posting some pictures of my adventures and/or my burgeoning belly. Yay for life!

So many boxes, so little time.

Anyone want to come over and pack all my crap for me before I go to Hawaii on Friday? I. Do. Not. Like. Packing. :)

P.S. Does anyone actually like packing? Seriously. The worst.

Mail Time!

Today the mailman brought me this nice surprise:

"Jess,
Saw this and couldn't resist! Let the games begin!
Love you, Mom"



Not sure when the surreal-ness will wear off, but it hasn't happened yet.

It's a......

GIRL!!! So far, anyway. Apparently there is some room for error with the initial screening, but we'll just pretend it's 100% certain for now.






Oh and by the way, I cut my hair off.

Oh my.

Here's the first one...I can't believe I'm doing this.

I was at the doctor's office and had to wait forEVER so I figured, hey, why not. According to the nurse and several other people with whom I have recently spoken, they can't tell I'm pregnant. But I feel humongous. Take a look at this next gem. Massive, right?



At least there's no mistaking it now. I am pregnant.

Perpetual Newness

I felt the baby move for the first time---hard to describe how amazing it was. Also hard to describe what it felt like. I loved how babycenter.com describes the movement:

"like popcorn popping, a goldfish swimming around, or butterflies fluttering."

I concur with the popcorn and butterflies....not sure about the goldfish. But the baby is about the length of a bell pepper...so I should start feeling it more and more now. Crazy! I love using food to visualize the size of the alien in my belly. Speaking of bellies, I'll have to post a belly picture soon. It's getting bigger and bigger every day.

I can't wait 'til July 16---we get to find out the gender!!!! Let's hope our baby feels like being a bit of an exhibitionist for the day.

Ta da!

I decided recently (...again) that I have the coolest husband in the world. Here's my proof:



Pretty amazing, right? And yes, that is our clothes drier.

Also, we can't wait to move out to Provo. I think we're going to have a big huge party once we get there, so everyone should come to welcome us back to the "mother land." The end.

What a week

Sunday: AHHH!!!! I ran out of my nausea meds.
Monday: Trying all day to get a hold of my doctor so I could get more medicine and a LOT of throwing up. Yuck.
Tuesday: More and more and more throwing up, and more trying withOUT luck to get my doctor to give me more medicine. Boo. Day ended with a trip to the ER to get fluids and medicine. Finally.
Wednesday&Thursday: Catching up on much needed sleep and nutrition for the week. Thank goodness for modern medicine.
Friday: Doctors appointment---found out I lost 9 lbs since my last visit (thank you being sick), heard the heartbeat again (SO cool), and am now on an antibiotic 'cause I have some sort of asymptomatic bacteria thing. Swell! hah.

Thankfully through all of this I had Michael around. He is seriously one of the most patient people alive to have dealt with all my craziness this week without missing a beat. He is the best.

Side-note: I think I have made up my mind about my hair. Now I just need to find a place around here that can do it.

Side-note#2: I am starting to show. I look pregnant. Or maybe it's just in my head.

A rose by any other name...

I was feeling a bit better than usual yesterday, so last night after Michael got home from scouts (he's the Scout Committee Chair in our ward) we went to see the new "Robin Hood" movie---which everyone should go see now. Anyway, on our way home I realized something mildly disturbing: pregnancy has altered my sense of smell. Now I don't mean just that certain food smells bother me. I mean certain smells that I (and quite frankly most of humanity) used to find revolting, are now almost good to me....like I want to keep smelling them. Example:

Like I said, last night we were driving home. The air-conditioner in our car is currently not working so we were driving with the windows down. What is a smell that you frequently come across when there are lots of trees/forest on either side of the road? Skunk. I was enjoying the fresh air, caught a whif of the skunk smell and kept smelling it! It smelled the same as it always did, I just don't think it's gross anymore! In fact, at certain points it was mixed with the smell of honeysuckle flowers and actually smelled quite nice! What the?!?!?! Yeah. Disturbing.

Other smells I now enjoy? Car exhaust and gasoline. I should probably limit my inhalation of those particular fumes.

Smells I now find somewhat revolting? Garlic cooking with onions. I'm heartbroken.

Thank goodness for variety

Things around here have been pretty monotonous as of late. I wake up, throw up, try to eat, throw up some more, and try to do whatever I can around the house. So 2 weekends ago I was thrilled when my grandparents came for a visit. They are avid travelers, and have probably the coolest motor-home known to mankind. Anyway, here are a few pictures from their trip/visit here.

I'm not a fan of how I look in this picture, but here we are at Pere Marquette...it's a state park. Pretty gorgeous views, even though the weather wasn't too great. I loved my ice cream.

My grandparents took us out to dinner at this really great restaurant in Edwardsville, IL. It's called Neruda. Yum.

This is a picture of my brother Phillip in Utah with my grandparents inside their motor-home. Schnazzy, huh?

Not quite as fun as pictionary.

1. Pickles. A lot of pickles.
2. Turkey sandwiches with swiss cheese and mustard
3. Roast beef sandwiches with sharp cheddar, lite mayo, and onion
4. TONS of popsicles in all flavors
5. Wheat Thins
6. Applesauce
7. Vitamins
8. Long naps
AND
9. Way too much time spent by the toilet.


Yes, world. I am pregnant.
Pregnancy is different than I had originally anticipated. It involves more vomiting than I think I've done in the rest of my life combined, BUT it also involves wonderful things like hearing a little heart beat. And looking through the bag FULL of baby/pregnancy magazines the doctor gave me. It involves hours spent looking at names that I had never heard before, and wondering if the little lime-sized alien in my abdomen will one day rue the day I named them. Most importantly it involves new reasons every day to be grateful for my life, for my incredible husband, and what I know to be true about this life---for the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am a happy lady.

P.S. December 5, 2010 is the tentative big day.

I love Golden Grahams.

The weather has turned warm (finally!!) and as a result Michael has started running again. Yesterday he came home from running with these lovely wild flowers. Made my day, since I was stuck inside sick the whole day. Blech.

In other news, we might be moving to Provo, UT in August so Michael can go to school out there. We're trying to find a place to live and it seems like all the good places are already spoken for! Alas, we shall continue our search...perhaps as it gets closer to August more places will open up. I'm excited about the idea of living out there again---never thought I would be excited to live in Provo. Hah.

First time in 6 years

Today was my piano recital....I was a little freaked at the beginning but it came together nicely I think. Here's a video of me playing....be warned it's about 7 minutes long.

Over the river and through the snow...

Well, my sister came to visit this weekend and needless to say we had an AWESOME time. Although half of what we tried to do ended up being closed (lame!), we still managed to eat our body weight in Mexican food and ice cream. At least it wasn't donuts...??

I think she's happy to be here.....

Some "Gooey Louie" Butter cake...famous to St. Louis. Yum. P.S. If it sounds full of fat that's because it is. Too bad it tastes fantastic.

Typical. I think she felt trapped...


A picture that Randi gave me of our dog in MD---LeRoy. Isn't he regal?

Wannabe Martha

Is it wrong to obsess about curtain possibilities? I dunno. But I am. Remember the blank wall I wrote about a few posts ago? Well, it's driving me insane and I'm attempting to find some good curtains....I sorta want gray ones but am having trouble finding ones that I just absolutely love. I may end up making them.

I am by no means a craft-ish person. When I got my calling as Activity Day's leader I was really worried the girls would be bored out of their MINDS 'cause I don't do crafts. But I was looking last week at Martha Stewart's website and I have to say that not only was I completely blown away by the shear genius displayed on that site (and p.s. how does someone come up with that stuff?!), but I was also inspired to try out some crafty-ish things. My only worry is that curtains may be too big of a project to start out with.

Perhaps I will forever stay a wannabe..........???

Just another day.

Michael and I have both been feeling really tired and sick lately (i.e. sore throat, swollen glands, a tiny bit stuffy) and he just found out one his coworkers as mono. We were talking about it at dinner tonight and decided it would be really hilarious if we also had mono. I'm not sure how likely it is that he got it from his coworker, but it would be pretty funny nonetheless.

P.S. I am still eating way too many donuts.

My very first Valentine. Ever.

I have never before had a Valentine---somehow I managed to be single every year when the holiday came around (not to complain because that meant I never had to waste money buying something for someone I wasn't going to be dating much longer anyway). Therefore I am not in the least bit disappointed that my first Valentine will be my only Valentine---Michael.

Saturday night we went out to a restaurant called Gentelin's in downtown Alton...the food was SO GOOD!!! On Sunday, Michael woke me up with some dark chocolate filled with raspberry something-or-other (best way to wake up, EVER!), and had flowers delivered to the apartment (which you will see pictured below). Not too shabby for my first celebrated Valentine's Day. And, needless to say, I am feeling especially grateful for my husband.

Now here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure:

My flowers



Michael and I on Valentine's Day



A picture of Michael that I love because I love him and he's my favorite.

Oh, funny rib bone: Part 2

Happiness = going back to the chiropractor and finding out your rib went back into place on its own so it doesn't have to be shoved back.

Oh, funny rib bone.

Story of my life: For a few years now (how many exactly is not important) I have been experiencing near constant pain in my head, neck, shoulders, upper/lower back. I have been to all sorts of doctors, have tried a myriad of medications, and have been disappointed by them all. At the invitation of one of Michael's co-workers, a few nights ago Michael and I went to a dinner/presentation at the Golden Corral here in Alton for a chiropractor in the area---Dr. Speh (pronounced "spay," and a discussion of how disappointing that meal was could be another blog entirely). We listened to the presentation and decided to give the good doctor a try. He offered all those in attendance a consultation, a few x-rays, and another visit to discuss the x-rays and possible treatments, for free! I went on Wednesday of this week to get the consult and x-rays, and returned earlier today for the review.

I guess because I've been in pain for so long, I have just come to expect that my body is a little messed up. I mean there must be some physiological reason for why my body hurts the way it does. My lovely x-rays showed a few things, all of which could very nicely explain the pain. Here's the list:

1. My neck curves the wrong way, and the individual cervical vertebrae are twisted slightly to the right.
2. Looking at me from the front, my thoracic spine (neck to bottom of ribs) curves...sorta like scoliosis but not too severe. It should be straight.
3. I have an extended lumbar curve---as in, my lower back curves too far in the right direction.
4. I have a displaced rib between my shoulder blades (my personal favorite)
5. My lower back right around the sacrum and a few vertebrae up from there are tilted and curve. Again, from the front, they should be straight.

Basically, because my spine is twisted, and curved, and tilted it ways it should not be, I experience pain. Makes sense, no? Anyway, I'm actually quite amused by the whole thing and relieved that there is physical evidence suggesting that I should be in as much pain as I feel. It's nice. I'm thinking I should give this chiropractor a try and see where it goes. He says putting my rib back in place and fixing my lower back shouldn't be too difficult. What will take a bit of time and could be quite tricky is my neck.

My new mystery: How did all this happen? I asked how things like that can happen and Dr. Speh said it was typically caused by an accident (falling down the stairs, car-wreck, etc.) or repetitive motion over time can cause that kind of damage. I wonder.......

Questions for whomever...

I am now an insomniac I think. It's 3:30 in the a.m. and I am not in the least bit tired. Crazy. Sad. At 1:30 I made myself a bowl of chili and started the movie "Star Trek" which I have now seen about 7 times (including the 2 times I went to the theater by myself to see it). I'm now listening to my "Owl City" station on Pandora Radio while contemplating what to blog about. I had an idea before I started typing and now it's gone. Bummer. See, if I had actual hobbies I could be doing one right now. I would play the piano, but that would wake up the old lady who lives in the apartment beneath us (side note: she's lived there for 13 years. Michael suggested we try to beat her record. My response: heck-freakin'-no).

I love my life. Why: today I got to clean the bathroom, do some laundry, read, play the piano, and eat Jimmy John's (the Beach Club...oh so tasty). What's not to love there?

Am I going crazy? I think so. OH!! OH!! My questions for everyone who may or may not read this: 1. Should I dye my hair back to blonde or should I keep it dark brown? 2. Should I cut my hair really short again?

Food, glorious food...or not.

I have been pondering recently whether or not I should get some friends here in Alton. If I should, it's a shame then, I suppose, that I feel so content with the friends I already have, even if none of them live within 200 miles of here. Instead of spending time during the day with friends or family, and since my husband is at work and school most of the time, my time is spent around the house doing what any good house-wife would do! Let's be honest, though, there are only so many hours in the day, every day, that one can spend cleaning (or in my case pretending to clean...hah) without wanting to go insane. Perhaps instead of friends I will just get some new hobbies. Here's an account of what I have so far:

I've devoted much time in recent weeks to reading---thank you Krista for all the good suggestions! I also have started taking piano lessons again after an almost 6 year leave of absence. I had no idea it would feel this good to be back into it again. My teacher is the wonderful Dr. Teresa Crane. She is a phenomenal pianist and I feel so blessed to study with her. I am working on the following pieces: Nocturne Op. 48 No. 1 by Chopin, Prelude and Fugue No. 15 in G major by Bach, and Tarantelle styrienne by Debussy. SO fun.

Aside from missing my husband all day (can that really be considered a hobby?), reading, and playing the piano, the majority of my time is spent thinking/dreaming about food. Honestly it's a wonder I don't weigh 500 lbs. If anyone has come across some KILLER recipes recently, please let me know. I. Love. Food. Healthy recipes would be most appreciated. Please, and thank you! I'm not sure dreaming about all the different ways that exist to acquire and then devour chocolate donuts constitutes a hobby, but I love it nonetheless.

I hear knitting is fun.....?

Home, Sweet, Home...so far

Half of our bookshelf

The piano that Santa brought us this year


The blank wall. Any ideas how to make it look better?

These are just a few pictures of home...it may not look like much, but I love it.

Newbie

The day I thought I would have a blog? Never. But here it is. I was told (i.e. commanded) by a lovely friend of mine that I must have a blog...apparently all married people need one. In time I'm sure I'll get the hang of it but in the mean time, bear with me.